Of Bucket Heads and Bugs
by Autobunny
Summary: A series of one shots for the crack pairing of Megafragger...I mean, Megatron, and Bumblebee. Stories: 2 out of five. Now we get to see what happens with the mention of the nurse's outfit in the last chapter.
1. Chapter 1

So, I have one collection of one shots going about any crack pairing, I have one specifically for the pairing of Optimus/Ratchet, and now I've started one for the pairing of Megatron/Bumblebee. Jeebus, I think I'm mental. And, like my other two fics, this one shall take place in the 07 universe, since I haven't really watched all that many G1 episodes. The specs about everyone, though, I have read.

Disclaimer: I shall only say this once: I don't own anybody.  
Pairing: Megatron/Bumblebee  
Prompt: Music

Note: Takes place after the Mission City battle.

* * *

The two of them were complete opposites in almost every aspect, so when they got together, the group was surprised, to say the least. Almost everything about them were at opposite ends of the spectrum, and should usually never meet.

For instance, Bumblebee was sweet, outgoing, and tended to somehow draw people towards him. Thus, he had a lot of friends, and was well liked by a lot of people. Megatron, however, wasn't very sweet, or friendly, or very outgoing. He was stern, tending to keep more to himself, and his cold demeanor tended to scare people or drive them away, so it was a strange sight indeed when they saw Megatron walking around the base, his face stony as usual and his aura of aloofness radiating powerfully, being followed by a smiling Bumblebee, and he didn't look like he wanted to kill the Camaro.

There was also the fact that Bumblebee like the sensation of touch. He liked hugs, he liked hi-fives, he liked pats on the back. Megatron was different. He hated when he was hugged, especially when it was a random hug (as Sunstreaker found out when he was chucked into the lake, laughed at the whole time by Sideswipe), he hated hi-fives, seeing as anytime he was ever offered one, the hand was dirty and grimy and it was really a waste of energy anyway, and he hated pats on the back (being a Decepticon, you had to be wary about such gestures, for you never knew if, or better yet, when that pat on the back may actually contain a knife or something that could pierce your armor and kill you). Thus, it surprised Ironhide when he walked into the base's "den" area and saw Megatron sitting on the ground, his head falling forward and little groans coming out of his mouth as Bumblebee sat on the couch, massaging his back and shoulders.

Then there was one obvious factor--humans. Bumblebee loved humans. He thought that their different cultures were fascinating, and he loved their different forms of entertainment. You could often find him playing with Sam, Mikaela, and sometimes Miles, or else all four were napping in the sun, the humans resting on Bumblebee's limbs for extra warmth. Conversely, Megatron despised humans. He thought that they were weak, useless, and extremely far behind in their technological advancements. That was why it surprised yet pleased Optimus and amused Jazz when they walked past the den and saw the usual three humans, Bumblebee, and even Will, trying to teach Megatron how to do the different "Crank Dat #insert word here#" dances that existed (Jazz decided that he'd have to have a little DDR competition with Will. Who knew a U.S. army officer, especially a white one, could dance so well?)

Yet even though the two had their differences--and there were many--they did have one thing in common--they were fond of music. While Bumblebee preferred something you could either dance, spar, headbang, mosh, or race to, Megatron preferred more orchestral pieces, such as Danse Macabre, Bolero, or the Firebird Suite, often doing small conducting motions as he listened that was why it wasn't that surprising to anyone (although Sam and Miles made puking motions while Mikaela giggled with glee) when, after a night of hearing the two mechs moan, groan, and make other noises of pleasure, they stated that their lover's noises were music to their audio components.

_**EndeNdenDENdEnDeNDENDendFINITO**_

Ah, I've been waiting to write a one shot for one of my fave pairings. They make such a cute couple, especially since all Bumblebee has to do is give Megafragger the big, weepy optics and he'll get anything he wants. #glomps both# I love them both. So, so much. #runs away with them#

Review, please? Thank you.


	2. Chapter 2

I hasn't updated this in for-freakin'-EVAR, has I? No, I hasn't. I've been really busy since I last updated, though, having stuff to do with friends, family, babysitting, job hunting, helping out with band camp for my old marching band, and playing around with my brand new laptop, Bob. I love Bob. #huggles Bob# Er...anyway, here's the second chapter of Of Bucket Heads and Bugs.

Disclaimer: See first chapter.

Pairing(s): Megafragger/Bumblebee

Prompt: Kinky

Note: Is it can be hooman!Former's teim plz?

* * *

Bumblebee thought that he had figured out everything about Megatron. He knew that Megatron liked his liquor to be the best liquor available. He knew that Megatron was extremely picky in his choice of lovers, and that he himself was very lucky to have been chosen as the lover of the Decepticon leader (sure, Bumblebee had to sometimes sneak away from the ever-watchful but ever-loving eyes of his comrades, and sure, it still felt kind of strange that now most of the Decepticons treated him like one of their own, and sure, he was quite sure that the Autobots that caught him when he had to sneak away/back were starting to believe his flimsier and flimsier lies less and less, but who's really paying attention to the details?). He knew that, even if his lovers could defend themselves, he liked to protect them from the rowdier Decepticons (Thrust did not, and still does not, like Bumblebee; in fact, Megatron had to actually stop Thrust from harming the little blond. Not that Megatron minded, of course...). In fact, he knew so many things about Megatron that he could probably write down a list that would take up a whole room, and that was just a list of the major things that he knew about Megatron. He did not, however, know this one particular thing until just now.

"No. Just...no."

"Oh, but Bumblebee," the silver haired man drawled, a smirk on his face as he strode over to the much smaller male. "Just thinking about it gets my blood boiling."

Bumblebee turned away from him, his arms crossed in annoyance. He didn't care that Megatron's hands were gently massaging his shoulders, slowly moving down his arms while he moved their bodies closer together. This was something that, normally, would have Bumblebee lightly kissing Megatron. Today, however, was something completely different. Oh, he felt the hands on his shoulders alright, and he could feel the way they were holding him in that possessive way Megatron had, but today, the muscled man was out of luck.

The reason? Quite simple, really. "I don't care what you say, Megatron. I am not dressing up in a nurse's outfit." You see, today had been one of their slower days, meaning that Bumblebee had a harder time sneaking out. Jazz, who had been getting very suspicious, had grilled him for answers, but Bumblebee had luckily escaped unscathed-well, except for a frown and a raised eyebrow from the saboteur.

Second, the Twins of the the Decepticons (Frenzy and Rumble) decided it was a good idea to glomp the younger soldier and have a small wrestling match with him. It ended with the three laughing on the ground, clothes disheveled, and Bumblebee leaving while Frenzy and Rumble began to plot Shockwave's imminent makeover.

Finally, before he was allowed to go into Megatron's office, Starscream pulled him aside and made him tell all about Optimus' life since Bumblebee had last come to the base. Starscream had the biggest crush on Optimus, but he wasn't one for sneaking off to the opposing side's base to meet him; in fact, he hadn't even given Optimus any signals. Confusing person, eh?

After all of that had happened, Bumblebee was finally able to get into Megatron's office, where he was immediately brought into a possessive embrace by Megatron, showered with kisses, and then the two conversed.

Unfortunately, that conversation had led to Megatron revealing that one of his newfound kinks was imagining Bumblebee in a nurse's outfit. That, in turn had lead to this argument.

"Oh, but Bumblebee," the general drawled, placing kisses along the blond's neck; here, Bumblebee had to do his best to resist turning around and look at Megatron. "It would only be in here, nobody else would see us."

"I don't care, Megatron," he growled out, concentrating on a spot on the wall so he didn't turn his head. "I had to dress up like Alice in Wonderland when I lost a bet to Sunny and Sides, and I'm not putting on a dress again, or Primus help me, I swear that you're never going to be able to properly enjoy sex for the rest of your life." From behind, he heard Megatron let out an amused chuckle, then felt soft lips placing a kiss behind his ear.

"All right, Bumblebee, all right. I won't force you into the dress." At this, Bumblebee turned and looked at Megatron with a questioning frown.

"You promise?"

"I promise." Smiling, Bumblebee uncrossed his arms and wound them around the taller male's neck, letting said male kiss him and move him towards the spacious bed. "Now then, for almost blasting my ear off in the last skirmish our two forces had, I think you deserve a little bit of...punishment," he leered, pushing the blond down on the bed.

Giggling, Bumblebee let an oh-so-innocent smile grace his features, his arms never leaving Megatron's neck. "Oh really? And what kind of...punishment did you have in mind, Megatron?"

The elder didn't say anything, at first. Kissing along Bumblebee's jaw, the elder made his way up to his ear, whereupon he whispered "The kind that will leave you limping for a few days."

Bumblebee could only shiver in anticipation.

* * *

Ah, and here you thought that this was the end of the story, didn't ya? Well, for those of that thought that, WRONGO!! There's going to be a second part, telling how Bumblebee, although a little reluctant, got into the nurses' outfit, sexy skirt, partially unbuttoned blouse, stockings, heels, and all. I know some of you are probably like "Nuuuuuu, I want to imagine Bumblebee in a nurse's outfit!!", so I'm going to try and get it out A.S.A.P., depending on whether or not I can get the job I want. Fear not, though! For I swear I shall work on it as hard as I am able to!! #gets to typing#


	3. Chapter 3

Yay, chapter 2. Say yay. #chorus of unenthusiastic "yays" from audience# #cricket chirp# Good enough.

Yeah, sorry this took so long. College & work got in the way, and, well... ... ...yeah, that's about it. Sucks, yes, but it's the truth.

Oh, for this chapter only: "_Italics_" equals whispering

Also, slight mention of Prime/Screamer... ...kinda... ...sorta... ...yeah... ...#dies#

* * *

A few weeks later, Bumblebee found himself in the middle of a battle for a power plant, trying to make sure none of the hostages got shot, while trying to make it seem like he wanted to destroy the Decepticons that were at the plant. He had spotted Frenzy at the computers, hacking past the security system on them so he could get at the vital information the Decepticons needed, as well as set the place to blow, and had tackled him before he could get all the way through. This had resulted in the two of them now wrestling on the ground, holding a small conversation between their grunts and threats at each other.

"**Get offa me, ya stupid Autoboob!** _So, didja notice how Starscream's going exclusively after Prime?_"

"**Make me, Decepticreep!** _Now that you mention it, between getting shot at and having to dodge debris, I __did__ notice how he's been attacking Optimus more than anyone else!_** The only time I'll get off of you is when you've got stasis cuffs around your wrists and ankles!**"

"**In your dreams, glitch head! **_Let's move this somewhere else, shall we?_"

"**Guess what these are on my hip?** _That pile of debris over there. Kick me off._" Needing no further invitation, and with a crazed grin to boot, Frenzy maneuvered his legs so their were underneath Bumblebee and, using both feet, kicked the blond off and hurried towards the debris.

Moaning, Bumblebee clutched at his stomach, laying on the ground for a bit before rushing over to the pile and sitting down next to the laughing red head. "Hey, that wasn't funny! That really hurt..."

"I'm sorry, but yes it was! The look on your face was hysterical!" The hacker laughed for a bit more before he finally calmed down enough to actually hold a conversation. "So, anyway, aside from Starscream deciding to attack only Prime, the rumor I've been hearing from TC and Sky is that Starscream swears that Prime is his Sparkmate."

"His Sparkmate?" Bumblebee's eyes widened at that. "No way! There hasn't been a Recognizing in millenia! Are you sure about this? I mean, Optimus hasn't been acting any different..."

Frenzy nodded, a smirk on his face. "Yep. TC and Sky told me that, at night, he'll cry because he says it hurts to be so far away from him, and battles make the pain easier to bear. They even said that he'll wake up in the middle of the night, crying, because he's had a wonderful date or something in his dreams with Optimus, and that would never happen in real life. **Take this, you stupid scout!**" Frenzy poked his head above the rubble, seeing if somebody was coming.

"Wow...**Ow! You're gonna pay for that, ya little squint!** Shall we start fighting again?"

"Yeah, sure." Turning to Bumblebee and giving him an evil smirk, Frenzy made to push himself at the blond, but immediately fell forward onto the floor. "What the slag..." Looking up, he noticed Bumblebee grinning, even giggling a little bit. "Whadja do t'me!?"

"You forgot I had stasis cuffs, didn't you?" Moving over to Frenzy, Bumblebee giggled as he locked Frenzy's arms behind his back with the second pair of stasis cuffs. "Well, I guess you're going to have to become our prisoner, Frenzy," he said in a gleeful tone of voice as he hauled the struggling red head up, ignoring his cries of protest. "Now now, Frenzy," he chided as he picked up and carried Frenzy away from the rubble pile and over towards an exit close to the Autobot vehicles. "Think of it this way: you can sleep as long as you want, and you get three square meals a day!"

"Oh, and that's supposed to comfort me!?" Frenzy yelled, still struggling. "Rumble! RUMBLE!! GET ME OUT OF THESE STASIS CUFFS!!"

* * *

A few meters from the pair, Jazz, Prowl and the Twins spared a glance towards their youngest comrade, their attention on him because of Frenzy's yelling, each of them with a little smile on their faces. "Well, looks like lil' Bee's able to handle himself, eh?"

"And here I thought the little bug was only good for scouting..."

"Be nice, Sunny!"

"It was a joke, Prowl! Besides, it's not like Bee can actually hear me right now..."

"Hey, hey, don't attack each other! We're supposed to be attacking the--" A blast made the four duck, allowing it to hit the beams above them and shatter said beams.

Sideswipe heard Jazz yell for everyone to get out fo the way. Heck, he even saw everyone move out of the way! However, his instincts, curse them, made him stay put and look up at the falling debris, allowing it to hit him on the head, which made him fall over, dazed.

The last thing he remembered was Sunstreaker asking him "Sides! Sideswipe, you okay!?" and himself replying "What's a Sideswipe?" (1)

* * *

"Oof!" was the sound that came out of Bumblebee as Rumble slid into him from the side, making him twist his body so he would fall on his back and save him arm from injury. The fall left him dazed just enough so Rumble could lift Frenzy off of him and undo the stasis cuffs.

"Well, we hate to just leave a job half-finished..." Rumble began, a grin on his face.

"...but I think it'd be best if we got back to Soundwave, let him know we're all right," finished Frenzy, a grin identical to Rumble's gracing his features. A giggle then escaped his mouth, followed by a giggle from Rumble, as Bumblebee groaned and sat up, rubbing the back of his head. "We'll just leave you to--"

"LORD MEGATRON!!" The shout that sounded made the three look to Bumblebee's left, their eyes wide and mouths open when they saw what all the commotion was about: Skywarp was holding Megatron, a knife in the latter's side. From a walkway near the ceiling, Cliffjumper and Gears were whooping with joy, as were the rest of the Autobots.

"No...NO!" In a flash, Bumblebee was up and heading towards Megatron, ignoring the fact that they were in the middle of a battle. He had gone only a few strides, though, when a hand grabbed the back of his shirt and hauled him back. A pair of arms wrapped themselves around him, doing their best to hold the struggling blond back.

"You wanna get thought of as a traitor, Bee?!"

"I don't care! Let me--"

"You may not care," Rumble growled out, grabbing the young soldier's face. "But I don't think you'll be able to do anything to help Megs any bit if you've been thrown in the brig." Bumblebee struggled a bit more, but gave up after realizing that Frenzy and Rumble wouldn't be letting him go any time soon. Letting his body go slack, he drooped his head.

"E-mail me tonight and let me know how he is, okay?" the blond said dejectedly. Rumble smiled, gently lifting the captive blond's head up.

"What, you actually thought we'd leave you out of this? We'll give you a detailed report, if you want."

Bumblebee nodded, a small smile gracing his features before his eyes suddenly closed and his body went slacker than before. "Set me down. I'll pretend you guys knocked me out." The twins nodded, gently setting the blond down on the ground and then running off.

Sighing, Bumblebee just let himself lie there, waiting for somebody to come and pick him up. 'Maybe I'll take a nap...Yeah, that sounds like a good idea...'

* * *

Every day for about two weeks after the incident, Frenzy and Rumble had been sending Bumblebee private encoded messages about Megatron. They were grim at first, but they eventually got better, and had now gotten to the point where, in their words, "Our GREAT and GLORIOUS leader is now getting pissed off because he's not able to see you, and ESPECIALLY because he can't pound you into the mattress," with a file attached to the message that involved the twins reading the note in tandem, breaking off into peals of amused laughter at the end. All of these messages made Bee's day a little brighter, until one day, a package arrived for him by way of, unfortunately, the Lambo twins.

"Hey Bee, looks like you got a little package here," said Sunstreaker, smirking widely at the smaller blond. Said blond immediately felt fear and embarrassment welling in the pit of his stomach, for he had a pretty good idea what it was and who had sent it.

"Yeah, it's pretty soft, too. Wonder what it is," Sideswipe drawled, pulling at the string that was tied around the paper package.

Remember that fear and embarrassment Bumblebee had been feeling just a few seconds earlier? It just decided to grow three sizes too big.

"Doesn't matter, give it to me," he mumbled hurridly, reaching for the package. He immediately regretted it when the package was lifted above his head, and the laughter of the Twins rang in his ears. "C'mon, it's my package, so give it."

The Twins looked at each other, identical evil smirks appearing on their faces before looking at Bumblebee. Once again, Sunstreaker was the first one to speak. "Awwwww, but Bee, we're just curious about what's in it."

"Yeah, so I think we should--" Here, the Twins' smirks widened as they quickly ripped the paper open, pulling out a white outfit with a red cross on the left breast.

Bumblebee looked absolutely mortified, while the Lambo Twins obtained incredulous expressions.

"Woah-ho, Bumblebee! Who sent you THIS little number!?"

"Are you hiding something from us, Bee? Like, say, a kinky lover in some sort of Red Light District?"

Soon after, almost all of the base was laughing at the fact that the Twins were getting chased down by a furious Bumblebee, who was waving around a long, metal pipe like it was a sword while threatening the terrified brothers with various methods of torture.

* * *

"Eat it."

"Mmph."

"Come on, just a bite?"

"Mmph." Starscream frowned at Megatron, who was sitting in bed and was, for lack of a better word, pouting. Because of the leader's attitude, Starscream was quickly getting annoyed.

"You've been stuck here since you were injured, and you've barely eaten anything. Laserbeak made this; you should be inhaling this right now! So come on, eat."

If possible, Megatron's glare intensified. "Starscream, what part of 'Mmph' do you not understand? If I don't want to eat, I don't want to eat. So walk out right now before I'm forced to throw you out."

Starscream returned Megatron's glare and stood up, bringing the plate of food with him. "Fine, sulk in here like a baby. I'm getting tired of taking care of you. Maybe I'll send Shockwave to take care of you instead."

Megatron's eyes widened, giving him a "WTF are you batshit inSANE!?" expression that made Starscream laugh something close to a cackle. "You send that, that...psycho-schitzo to help with me and I swear, Starscream, you'll find your rank moving quickly from 'Air Commander' to 'Toilet Scrubber', is that clear?"

Starscream was now in full-out laughter, holding his sides to try and stop the oncoming pain from his laughter. "Haha, sure, anything you say, Megatron," he said between laughs.

All that laughter just made Megatron fume, his anger making him want to pounce on his second-in-command and see how quickly he could make his face turn the same shade as Soundwave's hair. "Starscream," he growled out, grinding his teeth together. "Either get out now, or Primus help me, I swear that you'll find out first hand exactly how long it takes for you to pass out from a lack of oxygen."

Starscream let out a few more barks of laughter before finally calming down. Wiping his eyes, he said "You should have seen your face when I threatened to send in Shockwave... ...Alright, I'm getting out," he said, turning and walking towards the door. "Oh, by the way, we sent for a personal nurse for you." Not even bothering to look at Megatron's questioning expression, Starscream just opened the door and walked out.

Megatron watched his Air Commander walk out the door, but heard him say something and then start laughing again, wondering who he was talking to. An all-too-familiar voice telling him "Shut up already," quickly told him who was outside the door, and immediately made him perk up.

His eyes were trained on the doorway, and his expression quickly turned to one of lust. Through the doorway walked the one that made him feel that way: Bumblebee. He was wearing a long coat that was zippered from his neck to his knees, only allowing from his knees down to show. A shy smile was on his face, while a blush was on his cheeks. "Hey," he said shyly, stepping over to the bed and standing next to it, just out of reach of Megatron.

"Why Bumblebee, what a pleasent surprise," he purred, his grin widening enough to show his fangs. "It's been too long since we've last seen each other. Why don't you just sit down right next to me," he began, moving over towards Bumblebee, intent on grabbing the blond's arm and tugging him down onto the bed. "I think we need to get--"

"You need to get better?" Bumblebee interrupted, stepping backwards with an amused smile. "That's why they called me."

Now Megatron was confused. "They? Who the slag is--"

"Just about everyone here in the base. They're all worried about you, and they thought that you needed someone to help make you better." Bumblebee straightened up, his demeanor chaing from one who was shy to one who exhuded an aura of "Let me seduce you." His hands went to the zipper and began to slowly pull it down. "They thought that you needed a...nurse's touch," he drawled, his half-lidded eyes watching as Megatron's own wide eyes locked onto his chest as the coat slipped away, revealing the (obviously altered) nurse's dress. "So they called me in." Slowly, he crawled into the bed, gently pushing the older male down onto the bed as he straddled his hips. "I think you need to spend some more time in bed with somebody's caring touch, don't you?"

Megatron was stunned at first; this was a whole new side of Bumblebee, so where did it come from!? Then he grinned a lecherous grin, gripping the small blond's hips. "You're the medical professional, Bumblebee; I can't disobey your orders."

Bumblebee smiled. "Good. Now, I think we need to get rid of your shirt; it's hindering your healing process..."

* * *

**1.** That was in reference to one of the Jackie Chan Adventures episodes, "The Dog and Piggy Show".

Agh, I hate how this ended. It feels rushed to me. Still, imagining Bumblebee straddling Megatron while wearing a sexy nurse's outfit made up for the "rushed ending" factor, though...#nosebleed#

As always, reviews are appreciated. And again, I'm sorry this is so late!! Feel free to stone me for releasing this chapter so late.


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